I have always been timid

ok So I have always tried to lose weight and as if its some big kept secret thought "I am not going to tell anyone, so then when they see me again they'll be AMAZED at my transformation." WELL THAT DOES CRAP for my diet! I give up bc I think "ah, no one knew anyway. There is no accountability Wheres the cookie dough?" Except to myself accounatble, but SELF we are pretty good at justifying quite a bit. hehhee
SO World in the bloggerville, or for my mom whose the only regular reader I have, I am going to try again. I am even going to tell you my weight..in my toes. Approx. 4 onces there. But can't lose those so we will start with the hips, then the boobies (that'll come when I am done nursing. RIght now I am a cow-Moo! a happy cow,love getting to nurse ) Then my arms and evetually work ourselves to my tummy. Hips are easy. Once upon a time I use to be able to see my hip bone. I know it exits somewhere down there.
I feel I have to say here that my endeavor to lose weight is not one of vanity. I feel good about myself and who I am. I know I am beautiful. I say that with the confidence that I know my Father in Heaven loves me. I know my handsome husband loves me no matter what I weigh. I am confident in the body I have, but not concieded. I just know my worth, and damn it baby I am priceless!
I have always been timid- yeah right! bring it on treadmill, because I am coming and H-E-double hockey sticks- is coming with me! Few months from now I will return and report, for now stats are these....
(october 6th, 2010-approx. 204) I KNOW- I hide it so well!

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE

Its almost midnight, I should be in bed, or at least pretending to go to bed. Today was Conference. I love getting to hear our prophet speak, I love the feeling of being edified. I love the desire I have to WANT to listen to church music. I love knowing that I am with my family for eternity. I love that their are all kinds of good hearted people in the world, no matter what faith they may be. I love that I am a mom. I love that I am happy to live in Ajo. I love that my mom and dad love when I come visit home. It will always be home. I love that I know my worth as a daughter of God. I love my Savior. I love my family. I love my husband and his family. See these are the feelings I have in my heart because of conference. LOVE. Isn't that a much nicer feeling than that of inadequency. Old scratch works hard to bring us down and make us think we aren't good enough, but guess what people... I love that I am smart enough, I am good enough and gosh darnit people like me!