Wednesday, May 26, 2010

future Eagle Scout

Thomas graduated TOTS and will be starting kindergarten this year. My baby is all grown up.
Here he is holding the flag to help say the Pledge of allegiance with his classmates. Good job bubba! Thomas~ He likes to sneak oreos and milk into his room. Play in the mud with his boats and then smear that mud all over my patio table because he's "cooking" something. He loves anything to do with the movie Cars and has lately been watching "Astro boy" once a day. Loves to play superheros or hide and go seek or pirates with his cousins. Likes to wash his hands right when he gets back home from being somewhere...that's my personal favorite. He colors very maticiously, Miss Bonnie said he was always the last one to finish but his pictures always looked so nice. He has a heart of gold and just wants everyone he's around to be happy. He gets that characteristic from my dad I think. He also gets his love of fishing from Dad too. WE LOVE YOU Thomas~

Monday, May 24, 2010

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

This is what is all about..........HAPPY AND HEALTHY
I am coming out of my shell a wee bit....Grandmas funeral was a welcome relief. I don't understand the whole "viewing" thing that people do. Seeing her in her coffin definitely made it more real to me. I hadn't seen her before her death, so my memory of Grandma is sitting at my brothers wedding, laughing, and telling me I need to have 6 kids. Laughing, because we both know that ain't happenin'! ;) That is what I choose to remember in my mind.....not the coffin. (although that is very visible.)

I will be excited to be past the newborn crazies! Not the depression kind. I am generally happy, so I don't feel the baby blues...except for when I cried in my closet, but they tell me that's normal. I mean I am excited for the germ freak mother to chill out inside my soul! I am not ashamed to say "My names Denise and I am a SNOT hater." I can get dirty camping and fishing or playing with dogs, but show me someone with snot on their face and I want to RUN the other direction or at least bust out the hand sanitizer. This "mind-illness" of mine seems 10 TIMES magnified with my new little baby. It feels like if someone coughs in the same room as her, my brain says "huh,are they sick?" Driving me wild, hence the quoting of Rob Thomas, "I'm not crazy, just a little unwell."

I haven't always been this way. In high school I was quite normal. You wouldn't know I was a germ freak with all the boys I wanted to kiss. Notice "wanted." doesn't mean "did." I think my fear of germs developed after having kids. It is a miserable time when kids get sick. Disagree with me about germs, sure, but this is a point ALL mothers can attest too. Having sick kids suck! And then when the husband gets sick...hello fourth child. J/K Mark, I love ya!
If she's 3 months old and I haven't emerged, then call an "intervention." But for now, please don't judge me. :) and hand me the wipes.

I love to read NEI~NEI. She makes me happy. ooh and watch MONK. There is a kinship there.

Monday, May 17, 2010


When the phone rings it seldom makes my heart skip a beat. A few times in the past waiting for the phone to ring my heart has trembled. First time was probably when a crush called and I was worried my dad would find out. And the other times, far less melodramatic, but nonetheless meaningfull, was when my oldest brother Jake called to say he was being deployed to Iraq. Another time was finding out my sweet sister-in-law Amber and brother Tom are going to be pregnant. I swear the weeks (months) that followed seemed everytime the phone rang it meant she lost the baby. I know~ worry wart much Denise~ (Glad to say she is in third trimester and doing Great! Yeah for babies! )
But now I sit here and wait for my mom to call. It seems Grandma has approx. 2 hrs-to-two days left here upon the earth......
Heart trembling because I know when my phone rings what that means. My sweet grandma is 82. Has recently been diagnosed with cancer that has spread pretty much all through her body. When my Grandpa died it was so quick and unexpected...a major blow to our families exitence. My grandma has not been the same "happy" grandma since then. Sure she laughs from time to time, but the genuine happiness is gone. This is a blessing. She will pass away in her sleep. Our family is getting to say their "goodbyes." There will be no pain for her. I am not there. The guilt that rides inside my heart aches me to tears, because I want to be able to kiss her cheek and tell her how much I love her and how I will miss her loud inheritable "Swenk" laugh. (you know we both have it Lindsey) I will miss the way she tells barney, her yappy dog, to shut up, then picks him up and says "this dog." I will miss the way she squeezes hard when she hugs. The way she'll grab your face in her hands and say " I love you." Just because we get to say goodbye doesn't make it easier. I like to picture the way she'll hug my grandpa when she gets to see him again.
Heart trembling....wish I was there to hug my dad.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

PITTER PATTER LITTLE FEET- now my lifes complete

Sweet little girl, Kayley Joy. I loved when she came and the doctor held her up so that we could say "its a girl!" My heart felt so full .Would've too if it was a boy, but meeting her and just seeing how great Lauren and Thomas are with her, she is perfect! Kisses from sister and brother! Lauren asked me "Mom, how come your belly looks like it still has a baby in it?" Thomas replied, "Maybe cause now she's gonna have a boy." He'll soon enjoy being the only boy. Dad told him that there is only two seats in his boat, so only he and dad will be going fishing. That seemed to appease him.

Lovin' on her new sister. I hope she lets me hold her every now and then :)


Sweet little girl Kayley Joy. 6 lbs. 15 oz. 20 in. long. Now the fun delivery story,well not fun. But I think needs to be written down somewhere. I was suppose to go in at 1 a.m. but they called and said they had no room, would call when they did. So at 4 a.m my phone rang and we headed down there! By 7/8a.m I was in my room and pit. (medicine) started..and until 12p.m I was seriously twittling my thumbs just waiting for the hard labor to start. It seemed to be taking FOREVER. Nurse Angel (really, that was her name. not just because she was one) came and checked me I was at a 5, so then the real hard contractions started and I said "you know I think I'll take that epidural now." By the time they got in there and gave it to me, I was dilated at 10. They laid me back on the bed and it was time to push. And at 2:36 p.m I got to meet my daughter. And although I didn't get to feel the relief of calm contractions, my legs and ass (sorry for those who don't cuss, I just think that word is so fun to say and since I just gave birth I can say it! ...) were like jelly. Good times- I didn't tear though and I feel so good. Babies really are worth it! Now I am off to the hermit cave!