just some pics for grandma and Papa

Thomas was so happy about his loft bed, he drew a picture of himself on it waving hi Lauren my little "daisy" girl scout got her badges at a banquet. Here she is with her friends. Thank you to all who bought cookies from her...esp. grandma and grandpa Swenk who bought 25 boxes!

And then my Kayley Joy love bug. These are some of the pics my friend took of her for me. LOVE THAT SMILE~ makes the sleepless nights worth it.

She looks just like Lauren did on her blessing day....same dress and head band too :) Dad~ I thought of Grandma alot on that day. When I had Lauren she told me she wanted to buy her blessing gown. Now both of my daughters got to wear it....a pretty dress from Great Grandma.

This one is my favorite. You would think we posed her little hands like that, but nope, that's just how she laid them......she's a delicate little flower. So excited to get to come see you soon Grandma and Grandpa~ get your kiddie pool ready!

I love being this mans wife! Baby Kayley Joy was blessed on Sunday. I felt such gratitude in my heart for getting to be married to my sweet husband who honors his preisthood. My kiddos are so lucky, as am I.

Disneyland and the beach!

My lucky kiddos recently got to go on vacation with their cousins, aunt and uncle and Nana and Papa to Disneyland and the beach! They had a blast

lady bug, lady bug fly away home

This is what happens after a long fun day in the sun! He's so cute

All the cousins. Yep, Lauren is the only princess there. We needed another girl for this brood :)

Quade (surprised he doesn't have a leash back pack on) Ben, Lauren, Jarett, and Thomas.

Getting chauffeured by her cousin Jarett!

Bubba pulling the sword out of the Stone.....
Laurens favorite part....meeting her favorite princess dressed up just like her! I still can't figure out who had more fun here....Nana or Lauren?

Thank you Kelly and Dennis for taking them along. They loved it, and I loved the staycation I got...But I was ready for them to come bcak home after just one day :)

Whats on my mind?

Today I am thinking about what an awesome husband I have! I said one day "Love, I'd like to get the kiddos loft beds sometime." And he said "I will make some." And I thought OK...that means sometime in a year,I'll organize their rooms. BUT GUESS WHAT!? He got them done in 2 days!!!

Pretty sweet ~Good job, and I am sorry I lacked the faith :) So now I am thinking today how lucky we are to have Dads

They take us fishing! Have you ever seen a happier boy!?

They cuddle us...and we really look up to them.

And in thinking about Dads, I had to add this pic. of my dad. I just love him!

future Eagle Scout

Thomas graduated TOTS and will be starting kindergarten this year. My baby is all grown up.
Here he is holding the flag to help say the Pledge of allegiance with his classmates. Good job bubba! Thomas~ He likes to sneak oreos and milk into his room. Play in the mud with his boats and then smear that mud all over my patio table because he's "cooking" something. He loves anything to do with the movie Cars and has lately been watching "Astro boy" once a day. Loves to play superheros or hide and go seek or pirates with his cousins. Likes to wash his hands right when he gets back home from being somewhere...that's my personal favorite. He colors very maticiously, Miss Bonnie said he was always the last one to finish but his pictures always looked so nice. He has a heart of gold and just wants everyone he's around to be happy. He gets that characteristic from my dad I think. He also gets his love of fishing from Dad too. WE LOVE YOU Thomas~

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

This is what is all about..........HAPPY AND HEALTHY

I am coming out of my shell a wee bit....Grandmas funeral was a welcome relief. I don't understand the whole "viewing" thing that people do. Seeing her in her coffin definitely made it more real to me. I hadn't seen her before her death, so my memory of Grandma is sitting at my brothers wedding, laughing, and telling me I need to have 6 kids. Laughing, because we both know that ain't happenin'! ;) That is what I choose to remember in my mind.....not the coffin. (although that is very visible.)

I will be excited to be past the newborn crazies! Not the depression kind. I am generally happy, so I don't feel the baby blues...except for when I cried in my closet, but they tell me that's normal. I mean I am excited for the germ freak mother to chill out inside my soul! I am not ashamed to say "My names Denise and I am a SNOT hater." I can get dirty camping and fishing or playing with dogs, but show me someone with snot on their face and I want to RUN the other direction or at least bust out the hand sanitizer. This "mind-illness" of mine seems 10 TIMES magnified with my new little baby. It feels like if someone coughs in the same room as her, my brain says "huh,are they sick?" Driving me wild, hence the quoting of Rob Thomas, "I'm not crazy, just a little unwell."

I haven't always been this way. In high school I was quite normal. You wouldn't know I was a germ freak with all the boys I wanted to kiss. Notice "wanted." doesn't mean "did." I think my fear of germs developed after having kids. It is a miserable time when kids get sick. Disagree with me about germs, sure, but this is a point ALL mothers can attest too. Having sick kids suck! And then when the husband gets sick...hello fourth child. J/K Mark, I love ya!

If she's 3 months old and I haven't emerged, then call an "intervention." But for now, please don't judge me. :) and hand me the wipes.

I love to read NEI~NEI. She makes me happy. ooh and watch MONK. There is a kinship there.

family

When the phone rings it seldom makes my heart skip a beat. A few times in the past waiting for the phone to ring my heart has trembled. First time was probably when a crush called and I was worried my dad would find out. And the other times, far less melodramatic, but nonetheless meaningfull, was when my oldest brother Jake called to say he was being deployed to Iraq. Another time was finding out my sweet sister-in-law Amber and brother Tom are going to be pregnant. I swear the weeks (months) that followed seemed everytime the phone rang it meant she lost the baby. I know~ worry wart much Denise~ (Glad to say she is in third trimester and doing Great! Yeah for babies! )
But now I sit here and wait for my mom to call. It seems Grandma has approx. 2 hrs-to-two days left here upon the earth......
Heart trembling because I know when my phone rings what that means. My sweet grandma is 82. Has recently been diagnosed with cancer that has spread pretty much all through her body. When my Grandpa died it was so quick and unexpected...a major blow to our families exitence. My grandma has not been the same "happy" grandma since then. Sure she laughs from time to time, but the genuine happiness is gone. This is a blessing. She will pass away in her sleep. Our family is getting to say their "goodbyes." There will be no pain for her. I am not there. The guilt that rides inside my heart aches me to tears, because I want to be able to kiss her cheek and tell her how much I love her and how I will miss her loud inheritable "Swenk" laugh. (you know we both have it Lindsey) I will miss the way she tells barney, her yappy dog, to shut up, then picks him up and says "this dog." I will miss the way she squeezes hard when she hugs. The way she'll grab your face in her hands and say " I love you." Just because we get to say goodbye doesn't make it easier. I like to picture the way she'll hug my grandpa when she gets to see him again.
Heart trembling....wish I was there to hug my dad.